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Go Ahead – Let Your Kids Grade Your Parenting

 tháng 4 17, 2020     No comments   

Should a child ever "critique" or "review" their mom or dad's parenting? Should your children "grade" your parenting?

Yes — if done so in the right spirit and in the right way.

In the corporate world, it's known as "360-degree feedback" or a "multi-source assessment" — basically, a thorough review of one's professional performance from a wide-range of people, including subordinates — in addition to one's colleagues and supervisor.

As a father, I'm keenly interested in how I'm doing as a parent. It's not that I'm hungry for affirmation or even acceptance from my sons. Instead, I want to make sure that I'm being as effective and as impactful as possible in certain key areas of their lives.

To be sure, this type of evaluation isn't for the faint of heart, but if it's administered and managed properly, a regular "parent check-in" process can prove tremendously helpful — not only to the moms and dads involved, but also the children participating in the exercise.

Your Parenting Report Card

Since
our boys, Trent and Troy, were young and receiving school report cards, I've
asked them to turn the tables and grade me. I call it "Dad's Report Card" and
I've asked them to assign a letter grade for each category ranging from an "A"
to "F."

Admittedly,
I was a little apprehensive at first. After all, nobody's perfect and we all
have blind spots. But I've found it to be tremendously practical as it not only
lets me get a sense of what's working and what's not – but has also provided me
a game plan on how to be deliberate in the ever-fleeting days of their
childhood.

Trust me when I tell you this — the years with your children will fly by like a bullet train. It literally seems like only yesterday that I was jumping with Trent and Troy on the trampoline in the backyard. They're now 19 and 16 and well on their way to complete independence.

7 Categories to Grade Your Parenting

Here are the seven categories for evaluation:

1. Spending Time Together

In my role at Focus on the Family, I travel quite a bit, but what about the weeks I'm home? How are we spending our evenings and weekends? I've been grateful to bring them on some ministry trips — and I've always blocked out weeks of vacation each summer.

2. Spiritual Training

Are we reading scripture and praying together as a family? Am I stepping up to lead our boys towards a personal relationship with Jesus? You don't have to be a seminary graduate to read and talk about the Bible. You also don't have to have formal devotional time. It looks different for each family, especially based on children's ages and stages of development.

3. Having Fun

When was the last time you laughed with your kids? It can be as simple as setting up a slip-n-slide in the backyard or going to the park around the corner from your house. What about some good, clean practical jokes? There's a reason the Bible says a "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones" (Proverbs 17:22). Lighten up. As Vin Scully, my favorite old baseball announcer says, "When you smile, that makes everybody else feel better."

4. Feel Supported by Me

Am I my child's worst critic or best cheerleader? Do they feel like I'm rooting for them or running them down? Support comes in many forms. It might be a short text or an encouraging note left on their bathroom mirror. Be generous with affirmations. To adapt the old business adage, catch them doing something right — and praise them for it. As you ask your kids to grade your parenting in this area, you may be surprised at what they say.

5. Teaching/Mentoring Life

I recently heard a father say he wasn't interested in raising great kids — he wanted to raise kids who became great adults. Are you working yourself out of a job as a parent, teaching your sons and daughters how to "do life" down the road? Does your son know how to change the oil? Greet someone at a party or engage in conversation with a guest at the dinner table? Does your daughter know how to manage her finances? Be diligent and deliberate in making sure your kids are equipped for life. I'm talking practical stuff.

6. Recreation/Physical Activity

Our health is vital to our overall well-being. Watching movies together can be fun — but don't be a couch potato family. Take a hike, ride your bikes. We're an outdoor family and have explored numerous national parks — on foot and via ATV. There is something majestic and wondrous about exploring God's creation together with your children.

7. Listening Well

It's tempting to do a lot of talking when you're a parent, but actually hearing your children — their hopes, dreams and even fears — is critical to making a strong personal connection. You may say they don't talk much? It may take some time. Go out to breakfast together. Don't turn it into an inquisition but ask questions — and listen carefully to their answers — or even what they may leave out.

Be Ready for Growth

Okay. If you asked your son or daughter to grade your parenting, what "grade" would you receive on the above report card? Brace yourself. Life is all about growth and improvement.

The lowest I've received is a "C" — in the category of spending time together. It was a particularly busy season and one of the boys let me know I was falling short. I appreciated the candor and made immediate adjustments.

I think this is a practical set of criteria — but be creative and don't hesitate to revise it in order to best suit your situation. Most importantly, don't shy away from constructive feedback. You and your kids are influencing one another every day and you can quickly get disconnected by misunderstandings and distractions.

For more practical parenting tips, I hope you'll tune in to our daily radio program, download the podcast or go to www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting.

© 2020 by Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. 

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  • Natasha Denona Lila palette
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  • nyx transylvania
  • occ
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  • Other 70s Dolls: From Cher to Charlies Angels
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  • Overview
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  • Queen of Hearts
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  • review
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  • ridley
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  • rihanna who's that chick
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  • rockabilly
  • roses
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  • Saint and Sinner
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  • sapphire blue
  • sapphire8
  • Say Artillero
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  • Schitts Creek palette
  • Sea Wees
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  • sephora collection x sephora pro
  • sephora custom eye palette
  • sephora pro cool palette
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  • September favorites
  • Serum
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  • Shape Tape
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  • shawol
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  • shinee
  • shinee world
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  • shoes
  • Short Film
  • sigma
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  • siloso
  • silver
  • singapore
  • singles
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  • SK-II
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  • skull couple ring
  • skull girl
  • skull makeup
  • skull rings
  • skulls
  • skyranch
  • skyranch tagaytay
  • smart consumerism
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  • smokey
  • smokey purple
  • Soap and Glory
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  • soft glam look
  • sophie martin
  • Sophie Paris
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  • Sophie Paris philippines
  • Special Effects Makeup
  • special fx
  • spectra vondergeist inspired makeup
  • Spectrum Collections
  • speedy 30
  • spring makeup
  • SS109
  • SS109 Glam Rock Band
  • Starr Teen Doll
  • station 4 beach bar
  • steampunk
  • Stila
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  • Stila Magnificent Metals
  • street goth
  • style
  • subculture
  • suesh
  • suesh alabang town center
  • suesh brush
  • suesh makeup toolkit
  • suesh makeuptraincase
  • sugar skull
  • sugar skull cosemtics
  • sugar skull cosmetics
  • sugar skulls
  • Sugarpill
  • sulli
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  • summer
  • summer get away
  • summer in boracay
  • summer look
  • summer makeu
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  • Sunday Make Up
  • sunkissed look
  • super junior
  • swagger jacker
  • Swarovski
  • Swatch Watches
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  • Sweet Secrets
  • Sweet Treats
  • Tag
  • tagaytay city
  • Tare palette
  • Tarina Tarantino
  • Tarte
  • tarte airbuki dupe
  • Tarte Be a Mermaid and Make Waves
  • Tarte eyeshadow palette
  • Tarte Make Believe in Yourself
  • Tarte Rainforest of the Sea
  • Tarte Shape Tape Foundation
  • Tarte Tartelette Toasted
  • Tartelette Toasted
  • Tattoo Liner
  • taupe
  • the body needs
  • the cullens
  • the dark shadows
  • The Doll With the House Under Her Skirt
  • The Emily Edit
  • The Emily Edit The Wants
  • the face shop
  • the faceshop
  • The Ginghams Paper Dolls and Coloring Books
  • The Joy of Stickers
  • The Mermaid Series
  • The Mods
  • The New Nudes
  • The Pokémon Series
  • The Unicorn Glitter Box
  • The Virtual Vixen
  • The Wants
  • thebalm
  • this week's looks
  • Those little tiny velvet animals
  • tim burton
  • time lapse
  • Tinkerbell Play Cosmetics
  • Tom Ford
  • Tomfoolery
  • Toner
  • Too Faced
  • too faced chocolate gold palette
  • Too Faced Clover
  • Too Faced Glitter Bomb
  • Too Faced Just Peachy Mattes
  • Too Faced Peaches and Cream
  • Too Faced White Peach
  • Too Faced X Kandee Johnson
  • Treats
  • Triple Yan-Yan
  • true blood
  • tutorial
  • twilight
  • twitter
  • U-makeitup
  • uee
  • Underoos
  • universal studios
  • Uno Vera Hotel and Spa
  • Urban Decay
  • Urban Decay Born to Run
  • Urban Decay Electric
  • Urban Decay Heavy Metals palette
  • urban decay naked
  • Urban Decay Naked Petite Heat
  • valentine's day
  • vampire
  • vampire diaries
  • vampire makeup
  • vampires
  • vampy
  • vampy inspired look
  • vampy look
  • Vampy Makeup
  • Vanity Tease
  • venomous villains
  • Venus 3
  • venus mcflytrap
  • Venus XL
  • victoria beckham
  • victoria winters
  • victoria's secret angel
  • victoria's secret mosaic eyeshadow
  • victorian
  • video
  • viktor and rolf
  • villa ibarra tagaytay
  • Village Lip Lickers
  • Vintage Avon Stuff
  • Vintage Fisher Price Toys
  • Vintage My Little Pony
  • Vintage Strawberry Shortcake
  • Vintage Valentines
  • Violet Voss
  • Violet Voss Hashtag
  • Violet Voss Matte About You
  • vip girl lipstick
  • Viseart
  • Viseart Dark Matte
  • Viseart Grande Pro Matte
  • Viva Glam
  • Vixen's Vanity Lair
  • vixens vanity lair
  • warm tones
  • waterfront
  • wedding
  • weekend looks
  • weekly challenge
  • weekly looks
  • Wet N Wild
  • wet n wild cherry picking
  • wet n' wild
  • wet n' wild pinkerbell
  • wet'n'wild
  • Wham
  • what's in my makeup bag
  • White Chocolate Bar
  • White Peach palette
  • Wishlist
  • Work Makeup
  • Working Girl Makeup
  • Wuzzles
  • xoxo
  • year end special
  • yellow
  • yellow cab
  • yellow sapphire eye jewelry
  • yors collection lip and cheek tint
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